Friday, July 16, 2010

This Looks Like a Job for Language Rehab!

As I sit here with my frozen yogurt and pretzels, waiting to get tired enough to go to bed, I ponder something my father said last week: "Well you know she's preggers again, right?"
This worried me. Beyond the fact that he's turning into a gossip, my father at age 67 just used the term "preggers." Have we as a civilization become too lazy to say whole words? Is everyone going to begin speaking like the bored 16 year old girl that cut me off in a parking lot yesterday? I can see it now, "Word of the Day" calendars will disappear, soon vowels will become too much for us and we will speak only in grumbled consonant noises.
We all have our little bad habits, myself included, but some people I hear out in public are so disjointed in their use of words that I'm sure it must effect their personal and business lived.
This is where I step in. I believe there is a need for something between a super hero and Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear to take these people in hand and and change their speech to change their lives. I'm already sewing my argyle cape and am wearing my underwear on the outside as we speak.
I just need a really cool super hero/fashionable host name and persona. "The Book Eater" isn't really sexy or intimidating enough.
Oh, and one more gripe, the other week I saw a spelling error on a billboard. Not only are you assaulting the English language, you are doing it at an enormous scale, for a whole city to see. No one probably noticed.

2 comments:

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