Friday, November 18, 2011

Skip this rant

I apologize in advance for this outburst.
A piece of flash fiction I wrote for the The Vestal Review was rejected last week which sort of set this whole thing in motion. I really liked that piece, I thought it was quality. So now I'm doubting my ability to judge my own work. Work on my NaNo has been increasingly halting because I'm a little overwhelmed with school work.
I just feel like I'm stuck in this place where I'm putting all this time and effort into a degree that no one will ever pay me for. Yes, an English degree can help you go in other directions besides writing, but I honestly don't want to do anything else. I write because I love it, because I have to do it, I can't stop myself, but now that I get closer to graduating (and having my bills ever increasing) I have to think about doing it for money as well.
Putting monetary value on my work is so difficult. When magazines and publishers aren't willing to pay for work that I originally did for free, it devalues it and makes me doubt myself as a writer. I hate entering writing contests, even though they may have cash prizes because I hate having my work held up and arbitrarily judged by people comparing it to dozens of other submissions. I'm very private about my writing and these terrible experiences trying to make it more public only tell me that it should stay private. No one wants it. But I don't know what else I can possibly do with my life. Molding words and telling stories are the only thing I know how to do. But apparently I don't do it very well.
I need something positive to happen to me, I'm having some kind of quarter life crisis here.


  1. Hey, stopped by to see how you were doing and was sorry to see this. :-/ As a professional writer myself I know rejection is not easy to deal with. It is not at all, necessarily, a reflection on your merits. Good luck with your future endeavors, and do not lose faith.

    I will say, though, that it's a good idea to have some fallback skill. Making a living as a writer is possible, but not easy. Hope that doesn't sound discouraging.

    Anyway, hope to stay in touch, and you're always welcome on the Robin Hood board; I know you aren't in an RH phase right now but we have a really cool multifandom forum, The Camp, and also some good stuff related to writing in the Writer's Corner. (Besides, at some point you'll hopefully rewatch the show and fall back in love!)

  2. Thanks for your kind words LK.
    My brain knows how hard it is and how many rejections most writers get, but that doesn't make it easier when it happens.
    Maybe one of these days I'll do a rewatch. I always did enjoy the people on the forums.

  3. Great! I hope you can stop by and say hi for the holidays in our Why We're Thankful for Robin Hood thread!

    Oh, and I noticed you're the one who started the Dr. Who thread on the board; I've finally been watching the show and loving it!

  4. This may be slightly off-topic, but in one of your posts you mentioned working a renfaire and I had a question about your experiences. If you get a chance to email me I'd be grateful!

  5. No problem, I did spend three summers performing and working behind the scenes of a Ren Faire. This past year I did PR work for that same faire. What's your email? I'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

    LK: I knew you'd love it. Doctor Who is so addictive.

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