Things are looking up...

Perhaps. I've just put in some applications, though of course I don't know if I'll get anything from them, but the act of putting them in gives me a sense of accomplishment and control. I hope to get some sort of response (from at least one of them) soon
I also won a drawing I entered months ago on the PBS website. I won series one and two of Sherlock on DVD. That certainly cheered me. I barely even remember entering-- another example of me not expecting to much, but actually getting something.
At the literary society event tonight I dressed as Jane Austen and served tea. That was fun. My kooky friend Jess dressed as Henry David Thoreau. Somehow our interactions during the evening led us to the decision to tag-team a NaNoWriMo about the two of them. Not sure how that's going to turn out.
I've nearly finished this round of edits on my mystery novel and I'm taking a break from it while figuring out how to attempt getting it published. I have some very specific ideas about what I want from all the research I've done, of course I'm still looking for some guidance from those who have been there before. Right now I'm focusing on shorter pieces for my multi-genre writing workshop. I had a great batch of drafting last night.
And I've been listening to a lot of Seawolf. Maudlin music always has a cheering effect on me.

So thanks for bearing with me through all the crazy.
And I'm going to Italy in the spring. If that's not a sign of things looking up, I'm not sure what is.

Top 10 of 2010

It was hard to choose, but I tried to pick 10 media based things that are new for me this year or at least have reached an extraordinarily new level of enjoyment. No doubt there were other writers, musicians, etc. that tickled my fancy this year, but here are the standouts with brief explanations for each.

The Black Keys- Though they aren’t brand new, they are a recent discovery of mine. I love their blending of blues with an alternative rock feel.

Cabin Pressure- Discovered entirely by accident, this has encouraged me that radio plays aren’t completely dead and my dream of writing them may be realized. It’s also hilarious and has Benedict Cumberbatch.

Doctor Who Series Five- I was so ready to dislike Matt Smith and after the indulgent completion of Davies reign, it seemed bleak. Though it wasn’t perfect, I thoroughly enjoyed series five and am terribly excited for series six.

Florence + the Machine- Finally gaining notoriety in the US, Lungs is probably one of the best albums I’ve experienced in recent memory. Every song is unique and well crafted.

The Great Gatsby- I can’t believe I had never read this book before. It was incredibly fluid and tragic. It deserves its place among American classics.

Have I Got News For You- I’ve recently started watching this program online. It’s a great way to get an overview of world news and a great laugh via British celebrities.

Keats- His melancholy poetry has been my companion through many a rainy afternoon this year. The film Bright Star, a biopic of the poet, though flawed, was beautiful and lush.

NaNoWriMo- Not my first year doing NaNo, but an infinitely more satisfying experience than last year. Really found a new writing niche and characters I adore… maybe too much.

Sherlock Holmes- This year I consumed more Holmes based media than probably my life combined before. My readings of the original canon, watching the Jeremy Brett’s series, and the series Sherlock have created an obsession to be sure.

Thoreau- In my other life (and blog) interest in practicing a more natural and sustainable handmade lifestyle has drawn me to Thoreau and I’ve quite enjoyed many of this writings from Walden and his idea of simplification.

From the Pen of Thoreau

We're studying a chapter of Walden tomorrow in my American Literature class, so I'm catching up on my reading. Our hilarious professor had intended us to take a nature walk to the creek for our discussion, but the fact that the creek has over-spilled its banks makes that unlikely. Alas. The transcendentalists would not approve.
I thought I'd share several passages from the chapter "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For" that I found interesting and enjoyable.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

Classic Thoreau, sort of a manifesto if you will. Next, Henry David tells us why mail and newspapers are a waste (I wonder how he would feel about text messages and Yahoo! News).

The penny-post is, commonly, and institution through which you seriously offer a man that penny for his thoughts which is so often safely offered in jest. And I am sure that I never read any memorable news in a newspaper. If we read of one man robbed, or murdered, or killed by accident, or one house burned or one vessel wrecked, one one steamboat blown up or one cow run over on the Western Railroad, or one mad dog killed, or one lot of grasshoppers in the winter-we never need read of another. One is enough.

As a student journalist, I must say that I don't believe news is useless, but I get his point.
One more for good measure, one of my favorites:

Let us spend each day as deliberately as Nature, and not be thrown off by every nutshell and mosquito's wing that falls on the rails.

Ironically (as it is my life long quest to find irony and produce it where there is none), some club on campus had baskets of foam fortune cookies (I don't understand either) in the college center this afternoon, each with a slip of paper containing a quotation. The one I grabbed had a quotation by Thoreau about the importance of writing only when the impetus to write is hot upon you. Have you ever noticed that certain things seem to follow you in life? Words, stories, writers that pop up in various people and places that are unconnected to each other. This happens to me all the time, and lately it has been Henry David Thoreau.
I think it's time to officially upgrade him to Literary Crush. He makes me laugh, we could take nature walks, he likes the quiet, but doesn't seem dull- I like him. Although according to the pictures, he probably could have benefitted from a shave to get rid of that mutton chop/beard combination, but he has very soulful eyes. Besides, he's got a great cabin in the woods, and I've always said my ideal man is a rugged nerd. Yeah, this one has promise.

Maybe it's just because...

I'm extremely menstral right now, or the fact that someone I love has hurt me like never before this past week, but it's been a tough day. (Also, not "hurt me" as in black and blue, but emotionally- just to clarify).
I keep wondering about what I'm doing here- not in an existential way, in a more practical, geographical way. Why am I at college studying English? Why am I on the newspaper staff? Why am I so lacking in organizational skills? Why do I let myself take on positions where I really need organization? And why is it so hard for me to find somewhere to live that will make me happy? I feel like a refugee, nothing is mine, I'm just camping out. It was my own choice and I definitely feel I made the right one, but I'm still waiting for everything to work out and be livable in my life.
Obviously it would be easier to give some of these things that are bothering me up, but I've always felt that the turmoil was outweighed by the rewards. Sometimes though, I have days where it's really hard to feel a sense of accomplishment or fulfillment.
Lately I've been too busy to do laundry or eat a decent meal let alone do any pleasure reading or creative writing and that is a major part of how I keep mentally balanced- journaling especially has helped me rationalize some of the darkest moments of my young life.
I hope to be back in line in a week or so, but I just feel like pulling a Thoreau and building myself a hut in the woods. Just to get away from the buzz of everyone on their cell phones and spend my days writing and working in my herb garden- that would be bliss. Perhaps I'd feel lonely, but it's always easier to feel lonely when alone than to feel lonely when surrounded by people and noise.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, I'll be back when I'm feeling more cheerful.